Here I sit, all alone on a beautiful, sunny Sunday afternoon. Housework is done and everything I had to finish up for “work’ is done, as well. Matt spent the evening and subsequently the day today with my Mom and Dad, which is pretty much the weekend ritual lately. He loves it, they love having him and I had a chance to get lots of “stuff” done around here today. Mike is working day shift . This leaves me to sit and ponder the mysteries of the universe.
Will this be the last chance I have by myself? How different will our lives be days or weeks from now? Matthew seems to be thrilled about Marcus’ arrival; will his enthusiasm continue once Marcus actually arrives? I have a billion thoughts going through my mind and no answers. his is what frustrates me about this thing we call life. I have very little control over things until they actually happen. That drives me batty. I can prepare and I can surmise what is going to happen, or how I hope things are going to go, but until events take place I have to try to be patient and let the chips fall where they may. Easier said than done, I’m afraid. The unknown drives me bonkers!
I guess at the end of the day all I can do is try to be as prepared as possible – for any situation. I have to have several plans of action outlined in my mind and be able to draw on the fact that anything could happen. Sounds like I’m getting ready for the Stanley Cup playoffs or something, doesn’t it? Well I am, kind of. Life is my opponent and in order to win, I have to be ready for anything. I have to be realistic enough to realize that if it’s too good to be true, it probably is and just when I think things are running smoothly a kink will be thrown in somewhere along the line. It’s all in how you handle the kinks that will determine the outcome. As much as I believe we create our own destiny, we can only do it to the best of our ability to accept that things can go well and they can go not so well but how we react can have a definite positive or negative effect on any give situation.
So as I babble on like a woman who is 20 days away from her due date I realize that as long as I keep an open mind about the immediate future I can to some extent control how it is going to play out. If I fret over something that may or may not happen, I’m wasting my energy; which at this point can be directed in much better ways.
I have to have faith, I have to have confidence, and I have to have trust that I have handled worse and gotten through it all just fine. This is just another chapter. We will be thickening the plot and adding another character – the main idea may expand a bit also, but the general story line is going to remain the same. I must go back and refresh myself as to the strengths and weaknesses of my main character. A character study never hurt anyone – actually, it normally does me all the good in the world.
Now, enough philosophizing. Time to go enjoy this beautiful day.
Until next time…