As I eluded to in my previous post, we have been seeing lots of changes around here lately. If you’ve been a follower of my blog over the years, you’ll understand that this is nothing new, but it creates a huge impact.
When Matthew grows, evolves, advances, matures… call it what you will, it’s never been at an easy-going, run-of-the-mill pace. It’s never been subtly. He goes from ground level to 25,000 like a shot. It may take a while and life may go along at a dull roar for a long time but then like a shot there is a spurt that knocks everyone off their feet in a good way.
Over the last three weeks to a month Matthew has been very vocal about his ‘good moods’. He always verbalizes when he is having a good day. This makes me happy but it also makes me sad at the same time. How must he typically be feeling on an average day if he feels the need to repeatedly tell us how good he feels when he is having a good day? Just another reason why I wish I could get into his head for a little while. I just want to get it. I want to be able to understand, and even though he has always been very good at explaining to us how he feels, I can’t wrap my head around how it must really feel for him.
When he’s in this mind set, life as we know it runs a whole lot better. There has also been an incredible transformation in the relationship between Matthew and Marcus. It’s been so obvious that it’s almost smacked us all in the face. They are spending time together, they are talking (mostly) civil to each other and they are (dare I say it??) enjoying each other’s company. Now I know brothers will be brothers and they will always have their moments but, as with everything else with Matt, he tends to do everything in extremes. When he’s not in the mood the whole world knows it and when he’s in the zone everyone certainly sees it. Ever since Matt was Marcus’ age, the toddler and preschool age to about the age of 8 has always been the group that Matt had the most trouble relating to. That hasn’t changed over the years. He doesn’t like being followed, or copied, or hung on, or be in constant demand. Anything that a young child in these age groups is famous for, that’s basically what bothers Matt about them. And I get that. We all see qualities about others that get under our skin but we can look past them for the most part to try to live as harmoniously as possible. When you live under the same roof as someone who basically drives you bonkers, it makes it a little more difficult to keep it under your hat. Especially if you live with heightened senses and need to let everyone know when things aren’t quite going your way. Yeah, makes for an interesting few years…lol. Mike and I have been more referees than parents. We thought originally that the almost 12 year age difference between the two of them would be a good thing. Hmmm, not so much. The 12 year age difference is numerical only.
However, hopefully we are on an upward trend. Last week saw a first. We were about 3 weeks into the noticeable difference when I asked Matthew if he would like to mind his brother for an hour or so while his grandmother and I went to a meeting. Without hesitation, he agreed. What never would have happened even two months ago went off without a hitch. It was great to walk back through the door to great reports (from both of them). Marcus was a ‘perfect angel’ and Matthew was a ‘good big brother taking care of his little brother’. It was nice. It was an accomplishment of huge magnitude for Matthew. It was a big step in the right direction.
As we have become accustomed to, this can all change in the drop of a hat. We could be back to ground zero at any moment, but I’m hopeful. Given this big transformation is in the middle of the worst winter we have seen in many years, it only adds to the significance of it all. Matt can experience many symptoms of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) through the winter months. Vitamin D has been our friend. This year we haven’t felt the need to supplement nor have we seen any of the symptoms that were so dominant in years gone past. We’ll take it!
So as we continue to trudge our way through February, Matt continues to be happy watching the birds at the feeders and trying daily to outwit the resident squirrels that have been taunting him. It’s been a good (or as good as it can be with the weather) run. Let’s hope it continues and that we see the growth expand.
Until next time…