“Am I giving you what you need out of our friendship?”
This question was recently posed to me and as much as it caught me off guard, it also meant the absolute world to me. For someone to think so much of the other person involved in a friendship to ask that question; leaving them self wide open for the response that could follow is truly a selfless act, in my opinion.
I have since taken some time to reflect on this question, the multitude of answers that could have followed and all the variables that made up the question. I reflected on my own qualities that I bring to a friendship and I also reflected on the many qualities that my friends bring to my life.
There are many kinds of friendships and I am learning more and more that the length of time you are friends with someone plays a very little role in the quality of that relationship. My thoughts immediately led me to this poem:
Reason, Season, or Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
I think if we really take the time to focus on the message this poem delivers we would all understand a little better the meaning of the people in (and out of) our lives.
In the heat of the moment (be it good or bad) it is sometimes difficult to comprehend why certain people enter our world and why others leave. I believe everyone who touches our heart is there for a reason; be it for good or otherwise. We always have something to learn, we always have something to give, and we always have the choice to stay or to walk away.
Don’t take your relationships for granted and don’t think they will always be there. Some will be, of course. Cherish them. Even those relationships that seem short-lived or insignificant have something to offer us.
The question posed to me really made me think. I like that. I like knowing that someone in my life cares about how they fit in my life. And it’s also quite fulfilling to know that the question was posed to me by a person who means so much to me.
It’s not a lot of people who “get it”. I’m glad I have those in my life that “get it”. 🙂